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''When children get involved in the many activities in the town, their parents are automatically drawn into the community.'' And Massapequa, says Jan Slagel Serra, the immediate past president of the Massapequa Chamber of Commerce, ''is a great place to grow up.'' Swimming and boating head the wide variety of activities readily available to the 45,000 residents of this unincorporated, 33-square-mile community in the Town of Oyster Bay.

Bounded on the west by Seaford and Wantagh, the north by South Farmingdale and Plainedge, South Oyster Bay on the south and Amityville to the east, it surrounds and dwarfs the Village of Massapequa Park, with which it shares a school district and other services.

Some commute by car, although the bottlenecks on the Long Island highways make the hourlong train ride more attractive for many commuters. Parent volunteers lead a popular youth soccer program, the Massapequa Mustangs of the Midget Football League and two Little League baseball leagues.

ON summer evenings, a community orchestra holds concerts in the high school auditorium or outdoors in the John J. The public library sponsors children's puppet shows, as well as lectures and bus trips to cultural events in New York City for adults. Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church said the community is nicknamed ''matzoh-pizza'' because of its large Jewish and Italian communities.

The Long Island Rail Road provides train service to Pennsylvania Station about every half hour.

The cost is 3 for a monthly commuter pass, or .75 each way during peak hours.

The average price is about 0,000, and can climb as high as 0,000 for desirable waterfront property.

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In recent months, houses remain on the market no more than about three months, she said.Although census figures show that a few black families live in the community, Mr.Hametz says he cannot think of a single black student graduating from Massapequa High School during his many years on the school board.''THE way we welcome new families is through their children,'' Ivan W.Hametz, a member of the Massapequa School Board, said of his community.

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